This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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