i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
