He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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