I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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