Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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