My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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