I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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