I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
