Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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