she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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