your room smells of hookers.
And success
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
