So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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