you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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