you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
