im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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