Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
