She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
