no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
