Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
