I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
