Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
