oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
