You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
