I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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