I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
