he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
