Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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