I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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