She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
