How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it hurts more in the daytime
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
