Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
