Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
