Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
