This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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