i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
