No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How does one acquire holy water?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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