I heard we made out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
