I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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