well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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