I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
