I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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