She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
