so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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