Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
two words...techno handjob
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
