He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
