Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
