I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from now on my penis is your penis
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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