xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
