I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
