his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
