K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
